Hey yo~~~/
So, I started the journey in doing things that reflects heroism and you wonder, where do I begin? Simple. The hero doesn't find trouble. The trouble comes to you--or was it the other way around? Anyways, under certain circumstances, I will eventually stumble into a situation where I need to make a decision--a good willing one.
If it weren't for these circumstances, I wouldn't be writing these series. I managed to get through a possible 9 to 10 achievements in the last month. Even today (October 12th, 2008), good deeds has been added to that record. Kind of ironic though since I watched an episode called 'Epiphany' in season two of
Angel. That episode would talk about doing good deeds but not keep record. I will write down a conversation between Angel and Kate which was beautiful because it really relates to doing good deeds. That will be posted at the end of this journal entry.
My journey where action took place started when I decided to help out Naych (aka Hero) when he needed someone to talk to. I took it from there after watching the first episode of Angel when I saw him on the roof top posing as Batman. It felt as if this was a reflection of who I am. A person living in loneliness but tries to do what he can that is right. After several moments of thinking, I came to a conclusion that I have to take matters into my own hands. It is time to be the man of action. It felt right at the time. Besides, John Locke did it. He became a man of action with a self discovering journey. He was suppose to be the man of beliefs. Oh, how things have changed.
To get back with helping out Naych without retelling the story after it was written in the last entry, I made several sacrifices. Sacrifices that might be hard to accept at first but with a little understanding, I end up accepting the things that I lost. What followed after the day I told him about the things I understood, we had a debate regarding the idea of 'test' and the concept of deeds. Not so much of deeds but how we perceive it. Is doing deeds either good or bad or shades of gray? Maybe both. I believe it is both, however, we cannot take away from the fact that it is more liberating when we make the right choice...It has been awhile that I made any right choices...
On the day of the SPG which took place September 20th 2008 on a Saturday, my first test as a hero came into place at
Church's Chicken where me, PT and Naych were buying some chicken. I walked up to a counter to return the washroom keys and found a $10 bill lying on the floor next to a woman who was ordering something. I picked it up and decided to figure out who this bill belongs to. The woman didn't took no notice and I didn't give it to her for that fact. It might've been PT Boy or Naych. I ended up 'investigating' on who dropped this money by asking how Naych or PT paid for their meals. Naych used interact and PT paid the exact change. With that said, it can't belong either PT or Naych's. I even checked my pockets if I dropped the money but that can't be right because I had the right amount of money in my pocket--then it must be the woman. She already left after my investigation was done. I saw her go to the car and I ended up pocketing the money. Technically, this was bad in my part for the fact that I didn't do anything to ask her if it were hers. However, I came to a conclusion that would be foolish. If she said yes and it isn't hers, then she took it for the sake of getting the money for free. Nope, it better get to the right person or its pocket change for me. I ended up telling myself that if she walks back into the restaurant and tries to search for something on the floor, I would go up to her and give her the money. After awhile, she did just that. I quickly approach her before she left and ask her if she lost something. She said that she dropped a $10 bill. Bingo! I found our suspect--or victim I should say--or whatever
.
I did felt liberated after that. It really has been a long time. Doing that deed was a great start to a new journey. Being a prince--check. Being a hero--in progress...
Though I did have my share of failures, that will be talked about in the next journal entry, I did manage to make up for them with more righteous decision making later on.
Later in the week, I realize that doing good deeds don't usually occur after an unforeseen circumstance. They occur even when a common situation happens. For example, I heard there was a Terry Fox Run donation drive for the cure for cancer on all elementary schools. I ended up delivering to those school in that week. At the same time, one of the employees at ICS came up to me and ask me if I would donate some money for her child. I said, "I would be happy to." Knowing very well that I'm getting paid a pretty good amount of money. What is a couple of bucks when I'm earning a thousand a week? I started off writing down $5 but I didn't have the money on me. After making the deliveries towards the schools, I remembered something. I remembered about my childhood days when I was in elementary. I started looking back on how difficult it was to make a donation to the Terry Fox Drive. In the past, I've always wanted to make a good run at it (no pun intended) and hit the prize. I couldn't accomplish that because I couldn't convince anyone to make a donation. Either that or I was too shy to do so.
I managed to think of how hard my coworkers child is coping when she doesn't have that much names on that list. It felt relieving to see the mother (my coworker) helping out his child when I didn't have that kind of support. I ended up giving $10 instead. Sadly, there could be a chance that I could've made a bigger donation but I believe my contribution should be enough.
Later in that day, after thinking about all this Terry Fox Drive throughout the week, I couldn't figure out on a grand scale what greater deed have I accomplished. It didn't stood out as a 'heroic' deed for the fact that everyone seems to make a similar donation. However, I did believe this was a situation that had a significant meaning when it comes to deeds. I just couldn't shrug it away. All of a sudden, on that same day I made a donation, I found myself looking a Terry Fox dollar. I was buying pizza and was ready to make a payment. When I was ready to lay down the money on the table, I found that one of them happens to be a Terry Fox coin. After what has occurred in that week, this felt like a sign of some sort. I ended up taking the coin and instead paid the pizza man with a $20 bill. I kept the coin as a souvenir.
True. Even after that day, there was no deep transition that connected with that deed and the coin. Maybe something more will happen, I don't know. All I know is that I was rewarded for my efforts and my thoughts. Probably there will be something relating to overcoming a disease which seems more likely towards what I'm going through. Yes, I think I have a disease called diabetes. At my age?! It does sound ridiculous doesn't it?
Another great deed that requires a quick thinking dilemma is when I found a case filled with school supplies. It was located near a bus stop. I looked around and found out that no one was there to retrieve it. Obviously, someone left it behind. Since I found it during my delivery errands, I didn't have time to think of what I should do. I had to think of the right solution fast. Probably not the best but something leaning towards a moral victory. Three came into mind: One is to leave it there and hope someone will retrieve it; another is to take it with me; and the third is to leave it inside a place where I just delivered at hoping someone will find it there. After quick thinking, I ended up leaving it inside the travel agency where I delivered it to. I thought it would be best that the person might come come back and retrieve it and if the person starts asking around. Personally, the more I think about it, I think that was a foolish choice. If the person does come back, he would find out that it was missing and wouldn't even consider going to the travel agency at all. On the other hand, if I left it there, there would be a good chance that someone else would take it--or maybe the guy who left it there might get it back.
I'm starting to think that I really made a foolish choice. The best case scenario out of the three was taking the case with me. I never thought highly about it because it felt like I was stealing. So I made the choice that felt correct by leaving it somewhere safe. After thoughts led me to think that I should've taken it so that I can give it to the right person. It's possibly over now since that took place well over a month ago. In the end, I believed I got some moral points for it. Whether it was given to the right person or not, I will take that as a victory.
There are some cases that were trivial to many but I would consider it a helping hand. I had to help someone transfer files to another computer. With experience in the past, that was something that was pretty vital if your records were stuck in the wrong computer. It sounded important enough. Good thing my little brother gave me an ipod as a gift. I didn't quite used that to transfer the file but I think that was a token of gratitude for helping my little bro get a new ipod.
Other successful deeds were helping an old man cross the road--while he was jay walking on crutches! Yeesh! Believe me, that was a good deed to help the man live another day. Other trivials were giving a helpless man a shopping card that had a dollar in it. By the look in his face, he was in sorrows and pain. This guy definitely wants something to eat. Too bad, I couldn't treat him. The cart will have to do. Kind of his sideline job.
Finally, there were deeds that were meaningful and threatening. Not too extreme but more difficult to overcome than the rest. All of which are more related to being a 'private detective' or more specifically being the Chameleon!
Back in the origins of my journal writing, I used to claim myself as being called Chameleon. It was a cheap rip off from Disney's Doug. My first case back in grade five was locating a missing pen. I never found that missing pen but investigating days didn't end there. Truthfully, I cannot remember any of them other than that case.
Anyway, there was another moment where I had to relive that case. A customer in my work has a pen that didn't belong to her. She wanted to figure out who it belongs to. She thought it was mines but clearly it isn't. The pen had an eraser at one end. Who would place an eraser on a pen? Its not even a pencil.
Anyway, that went on for a week. In the end, she ended up keeping it. We didn't narrow it down to anybody so it was for keeps. Whether we solved it or not, I think the item is in good hands.
Other intriguing deeds involved my work where my job was on the line. There was items that I was responsible for and I could face a suspension if I cannot locate that item. It was supposed to be delivered to someone but I found out that it was already delivered. The problem was someone scanned the wrong barcode and it became complicated from there. Through filtering the rights from the wrongs, I came up with the answer to this case. And for the first time, I really solved something that was critical.
Honesty was another deed. Just like my job, this one related to my paycheck. I found out that I was over paid. Call me stupid but I had to report this one to my supervisor. Normally, anyone who didn't care would just keep it hush hush but for me, I felt like this would be stealing and I was bothered by it.
Finally, a deed that is long term and a work in progress is to get my little brother back in school again. Yes, it seems that he is skipping. He said that he arrived at school late but I don't believe him. It's grade 12 and he is the better child among the siblings. I decided that I will buy him an ipod if he made the honor roll. A big price to pay but something I'm expecting. I'm keeping tabs of his grades and his work ethics at home. I ended up getting the computer in the end. A tradeoff for the fact that my computer is not working.
Remember the situation in the last series where my computer was not working? This was the solution to that. I didn't even ask my little brother for the computer. He decided to give it to me.
If you tally up all the things I have done in the past month, I think I might be on my way but truthfully, I shouldn't be jumping for joy. There is a lot of work to do and there is a long path towards 'redemption'. I don't think I'm going to make it. I like this conversation about Angel and Kate. What really matters is what you can do NOW. Forget the big picture. Just do it--and feel it. That is an act of righteousness. By doing so, you are on your way in learning the art of righteousness in which Jesus mastered before you.
Faith:)
ps: This is a conversation in an episode of Angel called Epiphany. Angel was in the wrong path for quite some time and eventually found his way into righteousness. He had to fall into the lowest of low in order to get his life back together again. This girl, Kate, was once a detective but ended up getting the pink slip. She blames Angel for it. She, too, went to the lowest of low and felt like she wanted to commit suicide. Angel saved her from what she was doing. She was greatful. From then on, they both started to talk about life in which case was parallel to mines. Its about doing good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds no matter how small...
Kate: I feel like such an idiot.
Angel: A lot of that going around.
Kate: I just couldn't--*stops to think about what she is about to say*--My whole life has been about being a cop. If I'm not part of the force...it's like nothing I do means anything.
Angel: *shrugs* It doesn't.
Kate: Doesn't what?
Angel: *shrugs again* Mean anything. In the greater scheme or the big picture...nothing we do matters. *pauses* There is no grand plan, no big win.
Kate: You seem kind of chipper about that.
Angel: Well, I guess I kind of...worked it out. If there's no great, glorious end to all this. If nothing we do matters...*pauses* then all that matters what we do. 'Cause that's all there is. What we do now. Today.
Kate: *nods in agreement*
Angel: I fought for so long for redemption, for a reward...and finally, just to beat the other guy, but...*shakes his head*...I never got it.
Kate: And now you do?
Angel: Not all of it.
All I want to do is help. I want to help because I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because if there's no bigger meaning...then the smallest act of kindness...is the greatest thing in the world.
Kate: *nods in agreement again* Yikes. It sounds like you've had an epiphany.
Angel: I keep saying that, but nobody's listening.
*both chuckle*
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